the aphrodisiac

I started out this blog with happy memories in mind, which is why i seldom ink it with problems or unhappy thoughts. I guess that's also why i'm blogging much lesser than i used to in my previous blog cause i only blog about events here. Maybe i should just blog whatever that's on my mind.

At least for now.

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Just got home after spending the night with baby. Had our little tiffs and i went home sulking again. I guess this has somewhat gotten familiar to me. I used to think why he likes to drive me mad by doing thisthisthis and not doing thisthisthis. And it suddenly occurred to me that maybe it is me.

Sometimes when i'm mad, i can't really find a proper reason to it. It's often the adding up and multiplication of small issues in our relationship. I get all upset when he keeps quiet and i storm off, all drama-mama like on tv shows. He goes off, since i've left and he's tired too. Which leads me further up the red monster's house. Untill i let myself be appeased by his calls and promises that it-will-not-happen-again do i feel slightly better. The rest of the day was (is usually) perfectly all right. Even when i had my pms moments, he would still tug at my hand, give me a smile and ask "okay, so what do you want to do now?"

After this reflecting, i wonder how my dear boy stands me and furthermore, gives in to whatever stupid reason i come up with for deeming my outburst of unhappiness. Sometimes it's really the guy lah, for always forgetting his little promises but often, i have to shamefully admit i'm at fault too (and i did). What i really want at the end is a big carebear hug and goodnight kiss to end the night (or weekend in army scenario), that's all. But i ~~guess~~ ~~think~~ know now, it's really hard to please me.

I think i just made myself out to be the Worst Girlfriend Ever. For the rest of the time, i'm a really wonderful girlfriend, i swear. Haha (: At least i reflect (some call it thinking too much) and apologise for my ridiculous moments, do you? Don't judge me if you don't know me well! (:

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Phew. It feels nice to let out some feelings here. Everything's good with baby now after our phonecall. I just hope we have time to meet tml morning before he books in at 12pm.

On a side note, i still have my sore throat and my cough is crazy. (Daddy just got me a cup of warm water to soothe my throat. Aww...) I'm glad it's another rest day for me till monday! Let's have a fufiling week ahead! (:

it's 1:50 AM now

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